After a soggy and chilly May, my pink wellies are ready to retire for the season. My ten little piggies long to settle into the freedom of flip flops. Finally we are waking to the sort of warm, sun sprinkling through the trees mornings that compel us to throw back the curtains, roll up the shades and crack the windows. School children are getting restless, even wild. Preschoolers are already home and clinging to pasty legs. Memorial Day picnics and parades are past. It can only mean one thingPOOL!
Summer sounds pretty tempting. Envision your sun kissed skin, natural highlights and a fresh pedicure. Lose yourself in the nostalgia of popsicles and ice cream trucks. Sip cold beers and margaritas. Wiggle your toes. Feel the sand? Smell the surf?
Wake up, ladies. One giant obstacle stands between you and summer bliss. The swimsuit. Perhaps the smallest of garments, it can instill the fear of an IRS notice and prove equally as expensive. Not even the young Indiana Jones can help us with our search for one of the holy grails of fashion the flattering, perfect fit, reasonably priced swimsuit.
Oh, how appealing suits can look. They tempt us in every color of the rainbow on the pages of J. Crew catalogues or dangling from inviting displays in boutique windows. You cross the threshold with moxie, pushing away the glimmer of impending dread and concerns of just how hygienic that liner could possibly be. Youve been to the gym, sometimes. You pull a cute and potentially flattering halter top with relative confidence. However, a lump forms in your throat as you survey the bottom options. Slim pickins. Tiny strings. Perhaps a tankini would be better. You mentally fight off the image of your body as a Sherman tank. Armed with enough sizes and styles for a swim team, you enter the dressing room and the door slams ominously shut, not unlike a jail cell. You will not go back out there. You will not take off your clothing twice.
In the tiny cubicle of a dressing room, in the harsh fluorescent lighting, with no means of escape from the cruel three way mirror, you wish to transform your body into perhaps that of Heidi Klum or even say a Cindy Crawford or Heather Locklear in their 50s. My wise friend waxed poetic, If only there was mood music, soft lighting and a cocktail maybe just maybe buying a swimsuit could be less traumatizing.
Fight love at first site when necessary. Choose a suit that fits well. Then learn to love yourself in it. Ignore the size on the tag as needed. It is only a number. You can always cut it out at home. Check that is practical for your summer lifestyle as well as fashionable. Straps stay in place. Bandwidth and cups appropriately sized to avoid dreaded back fat. Bottoms dont sag or tug. Play it safe or go a little daring. Wear a bikini to the baby pool. You can do it. It is a swimsuit for a season, not your wedding gown. Have fun. Black is always slimming. Yellow and orange are hot trend colors. Browns and animal prints work the safari trend. Go for gold link or tortoise ring accents.
As for The Miraclesuit? Its flattering. Its functional. Its black. Its available at Nordstrom. For life changing miracles, look to the heavens, not the poolside. When you hear a bell ring by all means an angel gets his or her wings. But when the life guards whistle blows and rest period is over, jump in and enjoy now matter how painful it was getting into that suit!