By Lauren Fisher, Psy.D.
As the leaves fall and shadows lengthen, the excitement of Halloween casts a spell over the season. Yet, amidst the fun and festivities, it’s perfectly normal to feel a twinge of fear – whether it’s the thrill of a ghost story or the anticipation of a haunted house.
Halloween is not just about the costumes and candy: it’s about facing our fears together, transforming chills into laughter and celebrating the magic of the mysterious. As a therapist, it makes me wonder: how could we use the spirit of Halloween to tackle our everyday fears with a little bit more ease or lightness?
Fear is a universal emotion that everyone experiences at different times in their lives, but it doesn’t have to control your life nor hinder you from living the life that you want to live. Here are some practical strategies that can help you manage and overcome fear in your everyday life.
Acknowledge your fear
The first step in overcoming fear is to acknowledge it. Denying or avoiding feelings of fear can often make them worse. Take time to identify what specifically triggers your fear. Is it a situation, a person or a thought? Write it down and say it out loud. By putting your fear into words, you take away some of its power. Remember, it’s perfectly normal to feel afraid; acknowledging your fear is a brave first step.
Understand the source
Understanding the root cause of your fear can help demystify it. Sometimes, fears are rooted in past experiences or learned behaviors. For instance, a fear of dogs may stem from a negative encounter in childhood. Reflecting on your fear can help you determine whether it’s a rational fear, based on past experiences or an irrational fear. Instead of trying to find the source of the fear, notice where you feel the fear in your body and let your mind show you any times in which you have felt this in the past.
Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment. When fear arises, take a moment to focus on your breath. Try this technique: inhale deeply for five counts, hold for five counts and exhale slowly for five counts. This deep breathing can reset your nervous system and help calm the physical symptoms of fear, such as a racing heart or shallow breathing.
Alternatively, when really anxious, you can ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” For some people they need to walk, dance or shake out their anxiety. Others need to go inside and breathe deeply or shut out external stimuli. Before executing a technique, rate your anxiety on a scale of one to 10, with 10 being the highest. The goal is to note which techniques are helping to bring the numbers down to a more tolerable level of anxiety.
Challenge negative thoughts
Fear often thrives on negative, irrational thoughts. Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself: Is there real evidence to support my fear? What would I tell a friend in this situation?
Visualize success
Visualization is a powerful technique used to enhance success across many disciplines, from athletes to successful CEOs. Take a few moments to visualize yourself successfully facing and overcoming your fear. Picture the situation in as much detail as possible, focusing on how you will feel once you conquer it. Visualization can help create a sense of familiarity and reduce anxiety. It also sets up a new foundation for new learning and behavior in the brain.
Take small steps
One of the most effective ways to overcome fear is through gradual exposure. Start with small, manageable steps that bring you closer to facing your fear. Each small success will add up, and over time, your fear may diminish. With every successful experience, it is important to note how you feel after it and to reinforce the positive thought.
Seek support
You don’t have to face your fears alone. Sharing your experiences with trusted friends, family members or even a therapist can provide you with support and encouragement. They can offer perspectives you might not have considered and boost your confidence as you confront your fears.
Practice self-compassion
Be kind to yourself. Fear is a natural response, and it doesn’t reflect your character or abilities. Instead of criticizing yourself for feeling afraid, understand that everyone experiences fear at times and that it’s OK to take time to work through it.
Overcoming fear is a journey that takes time and effort. Remember that it’s perfectly OK to seek help along the way. By acknowledging your fear, understanding its root, practicing mindfulness, challenging negative thoughts, taking small steps, seeking support, visualizing success and showing self-compassion, you can reclaim control over your life.
Fear may always be a part of the human experience, but it doesn’t have to define you. Start taking small steps today towards a braver, more empowered future. And lastly, don’t forget to celebrate your successes along the way!
The writer is a clinical psychologist and a co-owner of Del Ray Psych & Wellness.